If I Ever Become a Female Action/Adventure Character 1. I will not wear clothes that are more revealing than what suits the occasion. There is no need for me to wear a tight leather outfit, metal breast plates or spandex for walking to a market or relaxing. 2. I will not stand within the villains grasping range when s/he is cornered. 3. If there is a risk that the villain's, his troops or anyone affiliated with him will be in the area, I will not venture out alone so that I am kidnapped, captured or killed. Rather I will use the buddy system. 4. I will try to avoid boring romantic sub-plots and get on with my mission. 5. If I must get involved in a romantic sub-plot then I will not play stupid mind games with my partner which are just annoying and distracting from the plot. 6. I will not go out alone against an entire army to free my father, mother, brother, sister, pet, third cousin twice removed, etc. Rather, I will realize that I need assistance or another strategy. 7. If I am in a situation where I am being forced to marry someone who is either rich or powerful, I will not put up a fuss, marry him and then proceed to kill him or stage a coup at the earliest opportunity to seize power much like Catherine the Great did. 8. If I engage in a sword fight with someone, I will ensure that s/he can not cut my clothes off with a few thrusts of his/her sword. 9. If I invent some kind of all-powerful weapon, chemical or device, I will ensure that I have hired adequate security to protect me from the inevitable kidnap attempts or attempts to steal the device. 10. I will compare myself with an average 12-year-old. If I find that the average 12-year-old has more common sense than I, then I will resolve to stay at home and not interfere in dangerous events or chasing villains until I can improve my knowledge. 11. If I run into someone on the trail of a villain/villains, and I have absolutely nothing to do with this person, his/her cause or if I feel that s/he is capable of doing the job his/herself, then I will go along my merry way and not interfere since I will be little more than a distraction. 12. I will not become a nosy goody-two shoes reporter. 13. I will wear pants since they practical. I will avoid short skirts, spandex, tight leather, tank tops, tube tops and bikinis as much as possible. 14. If I find that I am in a situation where the dumbest heroes are given the largest and most powerful weapons, the men are given the next most powerful and I am given the least powerful weapon (like a bird, javelin, shirken, too-tight karate uniform, etc.), then I will demand a more powerful weapon against hordes of the enemy. 15. If I must be mysterious and attempt to make sure that my identity is unknown, then I will take pains to ensure that I remain unknown. Ie: I will not leave quasi-romantic things behind like a flower (especially not a rose or a lotus blossom), scarf matchbook, business cards, etc. As well, I will take pains to ensure that I am not followed. 16. I will take lessons in self defense so that I am not constantly kidnapped, captured, beat up or otherwise. 17. If I do happen to be caught then I will maintain my dignity and not yell cheesey lines like "Help me Jaaaaaames!," "You will never get away with this! Never!" or "Just wait until my friends get here! They'll save me." 18. I will not under any circumstances take it upon myself to try and reform the villain. Such attempts will always result in death or capture. 19. I will not go visiting the villain if s/he is caught. In fact, I will stay as far away from the villain as possible. 20. If a wise and unimpeachably loyal friend tells me that something is wrong, I will listen to him/her. 21. I will not trust any vizier, counselor, or official: - with a goatee, who is bald or combination of the two - that practices magic or science in a layer or lab that I am not allowed into - wears all black - has a seemingly too powerful sway over my parents - laughs maniacally - constantly suggests that the best way to solve the problem is our marriage - that is from another land, country or planet that somehow one of my descendants offended 22. I will not needlessly sing corny, horky or romantic songs about a hero, living life elsewhere, etc. These are distracting, annoying, corny and take away from the plot. Instead I will employ other techniques to share my antidencent scenario such as: facial expressions, dialog or inner monologue. 23. I will do my best to avoid obvious trap situations such as: - walking down a dark alley alone - meeting someone, likely associated with the villain alone at night in a deserted area - investigating a dark and seemingly deserted house by myself 23. I will not wear heels so that I don't constantly trip or fall while trying to get away from the villain. 24. Rather than hesitating and wondering if I can reform the villain when s/he is cornered, I will not hesitate to kill him/her given the opportunity, especially if s/he just tried to kill me. 25. I will wear sensible clothing that will not distract my coworkers. A power suit is more professional and conveys a better message than a mini-skirt. 26. I will try to the best of my abilities not to be a "quirky/spunky side kick" but rather a useful, pointful ally. 27. If I am the daughter of a famous scientist, world leader, president, king, etc, I will make sure that I have competent security and stay as far away from my parents as possible so that I will not be the inevitable hostage. 28. I will go by the principal "the good of the many out weighs the good of the few." I will also realize that the villain is an inevitable back-stabber. Therefore, if given the opportunity between my friends lives or giving something that will make the villain all powerful, I will not hand over what the villain wants and just hope for the best for my friends. 29. I will remember in other applicable situations as well that the villain is an inevitable back stabber.